Icebreakers for the First Date

A first date of any kind is always nerve-wracking, isn’t it?

Although the digital era has made online dating a common and convenient practice to bring you closer to your one true love, it does come with one aspect we all dread. That transition from virtual connections to real-life encounters — well, we never know what to expect from the offline meet-up, do we? Worried about awkwardness and nervousness? We get it!

The pressure to make a memorable impression and alleviate any initial awkwardness can make even the most confident individuals feel a bit nervous. But fear not! In this blog, we’ll explore a variety of engaging icebreakers designed to help you navigate those initial moments with ease and confidence.

Daters feel nervous on the first date offline often because they don’t know what to say, or how to keep the conversation going naturally when they meet each other in person. That’s why icebreakers are absolutely necessary!

People become more comfortable with each other with the help of icebreakers which could provide an atmosphere in which people will want to get to know each other more. They are essential when it comes to helping daters to ease the tension and create a comfortable ambience. That’s why I’m going to share with you a wide variety of highly effective (and slightly unexpected) icebreakers for the first date. Enjoy! 😊

What are good icebreakers for the first date?

If you met your partner through Simply Dating and have planned to meet in person and see if can build a serious, long-term romantic relationship together in the future, things should be pretty straightforward! You already know what you’re looking for in a relationship. Well, effective icebreakers help put two people at ease and have the additional advantage of allowing you to get to know one another! Try being more proactive and curious! Ask questions that will reveal information about her personality.

“How are you?”

Let’s say you and your lady sit down at a café and now you are ready for a deep and meaningful conversation for the first date. Instead of asking “How are you?”, consider asking“How have you been?” instead!

“How are you?” may come across as less personal, whereas “How have you been?” implies a longer history of knowing one another. Since you both met online and have been engaging in Internet conversations for quite some time, the latter phrase establishes an immediate sense of psychological closeness between you.

Listen to her answer carefully because what she says next reveals her character. If her answer is quite generic such as “I’m good. How are you?”, that probably means she is a bit shy! If her answer is longer, chances are she is a creative person, e.g., “I just had the best hot chocolate this morning and now I hope the hot chocolate here is even better!”

By the way, if she asks you “How are you?”, you can give her a refreshing answer because boring questions don’t necessarily require boring answers. 😉

Here are some interesting answers to that boring question “How are you?”:

• “I feel sprightly.” (“sprightly” is an unusual word.) ✨
• “I just finished a work project this afternoon, so now I’m in a very good mood.”  (She will want to know more about your work project, so you can share your success with her proudly.) ⭐
• “I read a new magazine today; now I have some new ideas about interior decoration.” (She will be curious about your new ideas.) 🤩

Basically, you either use some unusual words or say something more stimulating than “I’m good.” to try and lead the conversation to different places.

This is a way to spark more interest on the first date. As a result, she will help you to continue the conversation and you can chat with her more confidently. Another question that you can ask her is “What’s the highlight of your day today?” Now the possibilities are endless. In contrast, if you ask “How has your day been?”, the answer she gives you could be very short. So, asking open-ended questions is paramount on the first date! Apart from these questions and statements, there are some uncommon icebreakers that you need to be aware of. Allow me to introduce them below!

Unconventional types of icebreakers for the first date

Commentable items as I’d mentioned before are remarkable icebreakers that will help you to start a conversation effortlessly on the first date!

For example, I sometimes wear a Swarovski ring on my index finger because my index finger is closer to my face. It’s a statement ring and it generates a remark or a comment every time I go out on a date! A ‘commentable’ item, see?

This is why the No. 1 non-verbal icebreaker that I personally prefer is wearing something ‘commentable’, e.g., a statement necklace, a pair of chandelier earrings, a red dress, a floral scarf, blue eyeshadow, an artistic hair clip, etc. As I’m a woman, I can experiment with more accessories easily. Since you are a man, you could probably wear a colorful tie, a creative shirt, and so on. That is to say, the commentable item that you wear should be close to your face – this is a way to make it even more noticeable.

On this note, let’s quickly discuss your wardrobe.

Wardrobe

When it comes to building a wardrobe that truly reflects your personal style and identity, investing in high-quality pieces can make a significant difference. Your clothing choices should not necessarily break the bank, but they should accurately represent who you are. Instead of opting for a multitude of inexpensive items that may lack durability and longevity, consider a more mindful approach. Focus on selecting fewer, but better quality clothing and accessories from reputable department stores and brands. By doing so, you can discover high-quality garments that not only withstand the test of time but also resonate with your unique sense of style for longer.

Wearing nice clothes increases your perceived value instantly, and your beautiful wardrobe is also your social currency because what you wear tells people who you are in a way, e.g., what you are wearing is teaching people how to treat you, whether you like this fact or not. In some scenarios, the first impression is also the last impression. As a bonus, it makes you feel good about yourself.

Icebreakers related to the place where you meet up:

Take responsibility to make sufficient and considered plans for the first date, and organize the date as well as you can! The first date doesn’t need to be perfect, but it has to be reasonably successful. As a result, you should totally meet her somewhere that is comfortable for both of you – a venue where you can hear the conversation clearly, somewhere that has a romantic atmosphere, a place with soft lighting and cozy seats.

I highly recommend places that you’ve already been to before because the ideal venue should be a place where you can relax without the added pressure of going to an unfamiliar area. When you meet her at the venue that you are familiar with, you can ask her, “Have you been here before?” which is a nice and easy icebreaker on the first date.

If she says, “Yes, I’ve been here before”, you can continue the conversation by asking other relevant questions about this venue, e.g., “What’s your favorite coffee here?” “Could you please recommend the best drink here?” “Do you like this place?” Now both of you will keep the conversation going because both of you will contribute to the interaction.

Incidentally, if you are more adventurous, you can even ask her, “I’d like to try something different today, so could you recommend the most unconventional drink here?” Now you are adding some playfulness to the conversation, so both of you will relax and laugh! 🍹

Let’s have a look at the example below

HIM: “How have you been?”

HER: “I’m good. How about you?”

HIM: “I read a brand-new magazine today; now I have some completely new ideas about interior decoration.”

HER: “Oh. That’s very interesting. What are the new ideas?”

HIM: “When three items are placed together on the table, it’s a better look. Like a small plant, a book and a lamp. Or a candle, a bottle of perfume and a photo. Groups of three are the best. I like interior decoration, and I find this coffeehouse very cool because of its interior design. Have you been here before?”

HER: “Yes. I’ve been here a few times.”

HIM: “I’d like to try something adventurous today. Could you please recommend the most unconventional drink here? Or maybe the girliest drink?”

HER: “Strawberry matcha latte!” ☕

HIM: “Thank you, that sounds like just the ticket! I’m thinking about going to the night school to learn how to make amazing coffee and extraordinary cocktails professionally. I am keen to do that at home in the future. You should come too! We only went to mainstream schools for traditional education, and it’s time to learn something different!”

See? If you are quite comfortable with her, you can suggest learning something new together. Not only will this provide a source of conversation as you’ll be learning something new with her, but it will also create shared experiences for both of you, thereby strengthening the emotional connection in this relationship in record time.

Here are a few other icebreakers that can be used on the first date and beyond. 🧉 

Other icebreakers for the first date:

If you are a curious learner or an avid reader, I guess you’ve learned many dating skills by reading books and blog articles already. That’s why your confidence is strongly backed up by your competence. When you are truly confident, you feel very calm and totally relaxed, so icebreakers related to the conversation come easily. For example, you can be curious and ask her about her dating profile, e.g., “Your dating profile photo looks amazing. Was that photo taken when you were at university?” Or you can talk about smaller things such as “What did you order?” / “The blueberry cheesecake that you’ve ordered looks great. Do you have a sweet tooth?” / “Did you come here by bus today?”

Another good icebreaker is asking her if she has any pets or if she is a cat or a dog person. This is a fantastic way to get to know her as most pet people love talking about their pets. Of course, if she doesn’t have any pets, you may talk about your pets or change the subject quickly based on how interested she is in your pets. If you decide to change the subject, maybe you can ask her something deep and meaningful such as “Who is your role model and why?”

Hopes and dreams

Research shows that asking hypothetical questions can often help you get to know more about a lady’s hopes and dreams:

• “Which movie star would play you in a movie?”
• “What would you do if you had a day off from work this week?”
• “What is the one thing you love doing so much that you would even do it for free?” (Her answer tells you her real passion.)
• “What was the best vacation you have ever had so far?” Note that the next question shouldn’t be “Who did you go there with?” or “How long was that vacation?”
• Actually, the next question has to be “Why do you like that place so much?” because “why” reveals her motivation, her values and her character.

Personally, I like asking these questions below because I’m not only a fashionista, but also have a fun-loving inner world:

• “Who is your celebrity crush?”
• “What is the most inspiring book you have read recently?”
• “What kind of books do you enjoy reading?”
• “Who is your favorite author?” (and “Why do you admire this author so much?”)
• “I really like your shirt. Does it have a story behind it?”
• “If you could start a podcast, what would you do it on?”
• “What is the craziest thing you have done so far in your life?” (She might tell you some adventure that she has had or an exciting activity/experience that she had. Now you can be more spontaneous and ask her to do an interesting activity with you on the first date).

Consider playing ‘2 lies, 1 truth’.

This is a teambuilding activity and here is how it works: a person will say 3 things about themselves – 2 of these statements will be lies, while 1 will be the truth. You have to guess which statement is true and which 2 are lies. This will tell you a lot about her in a fun way. Why not try it on your first date? 🥤

Now let me give you an example about myself: 

• Statement 1: I’ve been living in the city center for 13 years.
• Statement 2: I have been an online writer for 22 years.
• Statement 3: I have studied gender psychology, dating techniques, communication skills and human dynamics for 14 years. (Okay. Statement 1 is a lie; Statement 2 and Statement 3 are true.) 🥂

Topics to avoid on the first date

Previous partners

First and foremost, please try not to talk too much about a previous partner. If she asks you, “When was your last relationship?”, you can say something along the lines of, “Two years ago. And when was your last relationship?” – now the ball is in her court. Obviously, you shouldn’t talk about your ex too much on the first date. It’s okay to mention your ex once when the context is right and when it’s actually necessary. Nevertheless, you’d better avoid talking about your ex on the first date if you can.

Comparing dates

Second, don’t compare your current first date with your previous first date. Don’t say, “Now I feel more relaxed, whereas last month I had a first date that made me too nervous.”

Next, if you’ve been to that particular place before with someone else on a date, please avoid talking about it on your first date. You don’t want her to think about you and another woman here.

Avoid sensitive questions

What’s more, always avoid questions that make things too personal on the first date. Remember: now you don’t know her boundaries yet/what she would be comfortable talking about. So, you would be well-advised to talk about common interests and different perspectives. It’s perfectly okay to ask her about her hobbies, interests or favorite activities without delving into personal or sensitive topics.

Of course, I wouldn’t encourage you to ask her too many questions because that makes you look needy. Instead, I’d like you to share more light-hearted and non-intrusive facts about yourself in order to encourage her to share more with you as well. You can tell her what you did on the weekend, what your plans are this year, what you are looking forward to, what you are excited about right now, and so forth. Listening to your amusing facts helps you relax, so she will want to share more on the first date, too.

Physical intimacy

A skillful dater is a well-calibrated person. Please be mindful of her boundaries and comfort level. On the first date, you need to focus on creating a cozy, pleasant and relaxed ambience. That’s why you have to avoid extensive conversations about physical intimacy.

Any discussion about physical intimacy should be approached with 100% caution and 120% respect on the first date – don’t be a creep. Although playful flirting adds a touch of subtle excitement to the date, it’s crucial to refrain from extensively discussing physical intimacy unless there is very clear enthusiasm from her, which is quite unlikely to happen because this is the first date and Eastern European ladies are generally quite conservative and have more traditional values. Showing more respect is always the best policy on the first date. 🍷

Politics

Last but not least, you have to avoid talking about politics on the first date. Please note that politics is a highly sensitive and potentially divisive & unpleasant topic, particularly at the initial stage of getting to know a lady. It’s better to save political discussions for a later stage when both individuals have established a much stronger foundation of trust and mutual understanding in this sustainable and happy relationship.  🎉

Some notes…

In conclusion, you’ll definitely have an excellent first date with the above-mentioned advice regarding icebreakers for the first date, for I surely have full confidence in what I’ve written today. I’m sure you won’t make the first date look like a dull job interview after thorough preparation! In addition, if you implement what you’ve learned from this blog, you’ll certainly find out whether she is the right person that you would like to spend the rest of your life with or not.

Don’t forget that the first date should be short (no longer than 1 hour) so when it ends, it is still interesting & you’ll have something wonderful to look forward to very soon, i.e., the second date! Therefore, you might end the first date at its highlight/peak! As long as you are an outstanding and well-spoken conversationalist, your lady will also look forward to the second date with you & you will be able to build a long-lasting and meaningful relationship together. If you are ready for real love that will last for a lifetime, it’s time for you to join SimplyDating.com and we’re certain you will find the one here.

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True love is a click away and coming to you soon. Put yourself out there and see what happens!