When you start a conversation on an online dating site can feel a bit nerve-wracking, but it doesn’t have to be! A great first message is friendly, genuine, and makes it easy for the other person to reply. Instead of just saying “Hi,” try asking a question or commenting on something from their profile. The goal is to spark a real conversation—one that leads to a meaningful connection.
Are you wondering what message you should send first on a dating website? Please let me clarify that if your online dating profile is ineffective, then no wonderful message will work. Therefore, you have to make sure your dating profile is effective, e.g., the photos are right; the description is impressive.
Start a conversation: Remember What women think they want VS What women actually respond to
Many women say they want a thoughtful, deep opener—but in reality, they often respond best to something light, engaging, and easy to reply to. Instead of overthinking the perfect message, focus on creating a fun and natural exchange that grabs her attention.
Women think they want to date ‘nice guys’, but in reality, nice guys finish last. Most of them are unsuccessful with women because they don’t understand female psychology – that’s called the ‘nice guy syndrome’ for a reason. In fact, women aren’t attracted to men who are unsuccessful with women; women like men who are successful with women, but who choose to pursue her, as these men believe her to be very special. Isn’t this the plot in pretty much every romantic movie/novel?
So, your first message must convey your personality or high value. For instance, you can be unique: “Hi. I liked your dating profile. What is the most fun thing that you have planned this weekend?”
Alternatively, you can introduce some challenge in your first message, e.g., “Hi, I like that you are focused on fitness and health. Do you ever ditch Pilates and do hiking or boxing?” (This message gives her some praise, but it also shows that you are not here to please her – you have your own independent world of interesting things to bring her into. As a result, you are a high-value guy.)

Sending a message that leads to a response
A good first message is short, personal, and easy to respond to. Instead of just saying “Hey,” mention something from her profile or ask a fun, open-ended question. This makes it easier for her to engage and keeps the conversation flowing.
There are some other messages that you can send to women on an online dating website that will lead to responses from women:
- “Hi, I like that you are interested in Greek food. Have you ever tried Italian food?”
- “Hi. Is it going to be a tough start if I confess that I can’t stand Greek food, and I’m actually a huge fan of Italian food?”
- “Hi. I like that you have good values around family. But do you ever find time to be adventurous as well?”
- “Hi, [insert name]. Your photos are interesting. Could you tell me something I would have never guessed about you from your online dating profile?”
Are you ready to send the first message on SimplyDating.com today? Sign up now and send her a highly effective message on this dating platform!
Which first message on this list do you like most? Write a comment below and let us know!








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