Making Long-Distance Relationships Work

making online relationships last

Finding love on the Internet in this day and age seems to be the go-to choice for most ever since the advent of dating websites. As a result of this, online relationships and long-distance relationships have become quite commonplace too; Many of these online relationships are across borders because people have begun to appreciate the unique appeal of international dating websites and learning about different cultures.

So, how can we make online relationships work? Well, recent research shows that online, long-distance relationships are not impossible to maintain; they simply require some work as well as commitment.

Main challenges in online and long-distance relationships

Why is long distance hard?

Well, simply put – open and straightforward communication is required in romantic relationships, but managing this is more difficult when you are away from each other.

For instance, chatting online can never completely replace face-to-face communication because sending messages on the Internet may cause misunderstandings. Face-to-face conversations on the other hand are much more effective and efficient.

More exactly, whenever there is a misunderstanding, the relationship requires even more work, so as time goes by, if a couple doesn’t meet each other in person in time, an online long-distance relationship becomes more and more challenging.

Another common challenge in online, long-distance relationships is unknown expectations. When a relationship is largely built online, it’s hard to know for sure what your partner’s expectations actually are if you have to guess what they are trying to say over text and online.

What should you avoid in a long-distance relationship?

Don’t take your partner’s time for granted.

Communicating online on a daily basis requires true and solid commitment. Years ago, a friend of mine and his wife lived in two different countries. This meant that they had to video chat online every day at scheduled times. This was difficult for him, but he knew that one day he would move countries for his wife; having just a video chat every day was too hard for him. He was certain that if he didn’t move countries for his wife, their marriage wouldn’t last. As I’m writing this blog post right now, though, he has already moved to his wife’s country and they are happily in love and married with two children.

Don’t hide your true feelings.

Apparently, this is something that I need to learn because my friends told me that I have a poker face! Truthfully, I’m a very emotional person, but I rarely show my feelings, so I think I should probably show my feelings and emotions more often so that I can connect with people around me better!

Likewise, it’s recommended that if you would like to improve your communication with your partner online, you’d best show your feelings and emotions more frequently as your partner can’t read your mind and can’t guess how you feel. Try not to assume that your partner (or anyone else for that matter) has to fully understand you unconditionally – chances are your partner isn’t a mind reader!

Don’t let your relationship control your life.

I understand that online long-distance relationships are not easy and you can’t stop thinking about your partner. However, you would be ill-advised to allow your relationship to control your life. Apart from nurturing your romantic relationship, you also need to think about your career, your hobbies, your social circle, your family, etc. Your life is just like a matrix – there are various areas that you have to look after – your love life is simply one area of your life. 😊

Don’t overthink situations.

Making long-distance relationships work is an art form.

One of the simplest ways to maintain a healthy relationship is to trust your partner. You need to have faith in your partner and believe in this romantic relationship for the relationship to take its best course.

Don’t lose yourself

Your sense of individuality is paramount in every situation. Although this romantic relationship is very important to you and it requires effort, you must remember to pursue your own dreams as well as your own self-improvement. 

Key things to keep in mind when you are in a long-distance, online relationship

About the ‘spark’

If a couple spends all day every day together, their relationship also faces a challenge – the spark might gradually disappear because they are too familiar with each other. As a result, when you are in a long-distance, online dating scenario, you can turn the spark into a big flame relatively easily, particularly if you are a good writer as oftentimes you need to write text messages online.

From my point of view, you two can grow together in a long-distance relationship. It’s a fantastic opportunity for you to prove your love to each other.

Discussing levels of commitment

You may need to discuss the levels of commitment that you are willing to put in. For example, let’s say you have just started to figure out how to meet people online – now this is your initial stage of this online dating journey, so chances are you don’t really know whether this emotional connection will last for a lifetime… yet. Nevertheless, after meeting that person in real life a few times, you can make an informed decision.

Be available

Apart from that, in order to make online relationships last, you must be available. That is to say, you need to make time for your long-distance relationship.

Anthony is in an online long-distance relationship with Emma. Because they take their relationship very seriously and regard their connection highly, their commitment is extremely strong: Both of them have written down exactly what time they chat with each other online in their diaries. “If it’s not scheduled, it’s not real,” says Anthony, “That’s why we use our diaries every day.”

Personally, I like video calls because they are more effective and more interesting. As a result, in order to make online relationships last, I think you need to have video calls whenever possible.

Ground Rules

What’s more, it is advisable to consider setting some ground rules which would help you to manage expectations. Here are some examples:

  1. There is a crystal clear time frame in terms of when you are going to meet each other in person, i.e., you know when your next trip is going to be.
  1. You chat with each other via online text messages every day; you have a video chat once a week.
  1. Your relationship is a serious, long-term and meaningful relationship that will lead to a real marriage.

Communicate Often, Creatively

In addition, keeping this relationship alive needs both parties to communicate often and creatively. Yes, obviously, you should communicate with each other every single day. Meanwhile, are you communicating creatively? Let me show you some examples of creative communication:

  1. You send your partner a love letter by post before Valentine’s Day.
  1. You send your partner a surprise prank letter by post before April Fools’ Day (never underestimate the power of humor because a good sense of humor helps most relationships last).
  1. You send each other gifts by post on special occasions, e.g., your partner’s birthday, Christmas/New Year, and so forth.

Give each other space

Additionally, please don’t forget to give each other enough space. A lot of relationships fail because people don’t give each other space – being together 24/7 is actually not a good idea as you need some space to maintain the excitement and the spark. Otherwise, the romantic relationship might be suffocated! 

Moreover, the big picture is always more important than the small details. I’d like to acknowledge that there is a time and a space for small details. Sometimes the topping of the coffee sets something apart: At times, things that seem unnecessary are actually quite meaningful, e.g., a handwritten thank-you note, a handmade card, and so on. And you are supposed to make your partner a part of your life in some small ways: Your partner’s photo can be the wallpaper on your computer and your smartphone; you can put your partner’s photos on your vision board at home; in your journal, you can write down some fascinating ideas that will definitely surprise your partner in a good way next month. Nonetheless, the big picture is clearly much more paramount than small details because the big picture is your blueprint, your future plan & your shared vision.

Remember: in order to make long-distance relationships work, you always need a shared vision so that you can see that you have a future together – this will keep you motivated for a long time.

Stay Honest

Honesty is always the best policy in online dating because if you lie to your partner, chances are your partner will find out the truth sooner or later & which destroys the trust forever. Don’t even lie about small things. Please let me explain.

Many years ago, I was dating someone who bought me a birthday present – a silver bracelet. 

“When did you buy this bracelet?” I asked him.

“A few days ago.” He replied.

Several hours later, I accidentally saw the receipt of that bracelet in the drawer in his apartment. The receipt indicates that he bought the silver bracelet 30 minutes before he gave it to me. The reason he told me that he bought it a few days before my birthday was that he wanted to be diplomatic. Yet that was actually a turn-off because sadly, dishonesty is an unattractive quality.

Incidentally, if you are in an online long-distance relationship, you would be well-advised to be mindful of each other’s schedule. First, there are probably some time zone differences if you and your partner are in two different countries. Second, in the summertime, there can be Daylight Saving Time in many countries. Third, sometimes you have other priorities in life and you can’t have a video chat with your partner when you must look after a family member/work on the weekend/go to another city for a business trip. In this case, you should be honest about your schedule. Of course, you try your best to make time for each other, but if you really have to do something else instead of chatting with your partner online, please keep your partner updated.

Plans together

When it comes to doing things together in a long-distance online relationship, I have some effective suggestions for you:

  1. You can watch movies together on the Internet, e.g., Netflix, Amazon video, and so on.
  1. You can have a meal online. Consider cooking dinner while having a video chat and then eating dinner with your partner on camera.
  1. You can start a book club for 2, i.e., you read a book together and talk about each chapter once a week online.
  1. You can watch the same TV show and discuss the show together.
  2. Make plans to visit each other. Book your flight and visit your partner! SimplyDating.com would be happy to help you organize your international trip; we offer very comprehensive services. 😊

How to build meaningful relationships online:

Online relationships require some work, a lot of trust and an understanding of closeness even when you are apart. Personally, I like video calls because they are more effective and more interesting. As a result, in order to make online relationships last, I think you need to have video calls whenever possible. 😉

In terms of tips for long-distance relationships, we have already talked about the effort and the trust that is required. Now let’s discuss how to create closeness when you are not physically together in reality.

Shannon and Andy are in an online long-distance relationship. They have highly creative ways to create closeness even though they are apart:

  1. Andy is a good writer, so he writes short stories and poems and sends them to Shannon regularly.
  1. Shannon is a great singer, so she would sing a romantic love song for Andy whenever they have a video chat. (Her karaoke music is from YouTube.)
  1. Andy sends Shannon unique presents on special occasions.

Now I’d like to ask you an uncomfortable question: Do you really know what you truly want from your relationship?

Different people have different needs, which is totally understandable. Some people want to have children, and they actually need relationships in order to make that happen. Some people just want their emotional and physical needs to be met, which is common and necessary – they want real relationships and true love. 

At the same time, some people prefer being single because they like the simplicity in life and they don’t want to have more responsibilities, which is okay as well. We are not here to judge each other.

If you are looking for a relationship, you have to know what you actually want from a relationship because clearly knowing what you want is the prerequisite to clarifying your standards.

What’s more, if you don’t even know what you want, you definitely don’t know how to communicate what you want cleanly and clearly to your partner.

When you actually know what you want from your relationship, the clarity allows you to pursue your dream relationship even when your partner is a phone/computer screen away. 😉

Frequently Asked Questions

how to make long-distance relationships work

  1. Can online relationships last?

Answer: Yes. Online relationships can definitely last if you know how to make it last. In other words, it depends on your dating skills, your effort and your mindset.

  1. How long do online relationships typically last?

Answer: This is the second decade of the 21st century (we have lived in the digital era for a long time already). Thus, there is no real difference between online relationships and real-life relationships when it comes to how long a relationship can last. People who join reliable online dating sites like SimplyDating.com are looking for serious relationships that can last for a lifetime.

  1. How do you know if a guy loves you online?

Answer: If a guy really loves you, he will have time for you. He will send you messages and have video calls with you. Men are not subtle, so if they are interested, you would know it! If you are deeply questioning if a guy loves you or not, usually that means he doesn’t love you. Remember: love is a very strong emotion; as a result, if someone truly loves you in an authentic relationship, you would know it.

  1. How long should you talk to a guy online before meeting him?

Answer: Usually, you should talk to a guy for at least a few weeks or a few months before meeting him in person. You need a good understanding of who he is first.

  1. How can you tell if he is not interested?

Answer: If he is not interested, he would minimize the amount of communication with you.

  1. Are long-distance relationships healthy?

Answer: Long-distance relationships are healthy if you have a shared vision with your partner, i.e., you are working for the goal that both of you share.

  1. What are the red flags in an online, long-distance relationship?

Answer: Main red flags include lack of genuine communication, not giving you enough time and absence of a shared vision.

  1. What makes long-distance relationships fail?

Answer: Disrespect, confusion, dishonesty and unrealistic expectations make long-distance relationships fail.

  1. How do you know a long-distance relationship isn’t working?

Answer: If you have no plans to meet each other in person within a reasonable time frame, this long-distance relationship isn’t working.

  1. Is it necessary to talk every day in a long-distance relationship?

Answer: Yes, it’s absolutely necessary if you take this relationship seriously and regard it highly!

  • Why date internationally:

If you are wondering how to meet women online, you would be well-advised to join a trustworthy international online dating site like SimplyDating.com, because dating women from Eastern Europe is wonderful for numerous reasons.

First and most importantly, Eastern European women have traditional values. They respect their husbands, love children and want to look after family members. Therefore, if you are looking for a sustainable relationship that can last forever, you may consider dating a Ukrainian woman.

Second, women from Eastern Europe are very elegant ladies. They are presentable because they generally have a good sense of fashion which gives themselves and their husbands sufficient external confidence. Please don’t underestimate the power of external confidence because external confidence directly influences your inner confidence – how you look determines how you feel tremendously. Lack of grooming often indicates the absence of morale!

Lastly, in today’s day and age, online dating has made international relationships possible. All you need to do is to join a reputable dating site like SimplyDating.com where you can meet genuine single ladies from Ukraine.

  • Bonus tips for long-distance relationships:
  1. Use your smartphone to take photos in your daily life. Send each other photos online frequently. In this way, you create closeness because everyone is visual.
  1. Write a memoir and make this relationship one chapter in it. If you can’t write very well, consider hiring a ghostwriter. 😉
  1. Start a blog and take turns writing blog posts. Only you and your partner know this blog. 😊

Those wondering how to meet people online must also learn how to maintain online relationships for a more fulfilled life. It’s certainly possible to make online relationships last as long as you know the key principles: honesty, respect, communication and clarity. If you are ready for an international relationship that starts online, join SimplyDating.com today. True love might just be a click away.

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